I don't
know when the battle between mother
in-laws and daughter in-laws started and I don't know when it’s going to end. I
guess one of the reasons of this battle is fear, I mean fear from both sides.
Mother in-laws has fear of the daughter in-laws snatching away the "fruit of their labour." They see their sons as deposited cheque, waiting to mature at an appointed time. So when the time is ripe or almost ripe, you, Sis Eko,(daughter in-law) wants to "chance" her life savings? Hia! Even her other children see him likewise too. You get to see where, sister in- laws, and brother in-laws will give the history of their family when their brothers' wife faults.
The rich mother in-laws are not necessarily expecting returns from their deposits because she already has; she just can't stand another woman contradicting her teachings. A woman “from somewhere” will just come and feed the man with different opinion?! She is yet to process it. She believes she has done well in that area; at least madam new wife can see it; so when she sees new habits/developments/
Daughters, future mother in-law.
One of the means we daughter in-laws use to pour out our anger will be by talking to our husbands. Most times, Mr. Hubby is calculating on how to handle the situation in order not to offend any. The man is in a tight corner. It only takes some men grace to be able to put a check on the "excesses" of his mother and even his wife. Seriously, a man who can stand on his own before marriage needs no extra moral class from his mummy. But what do we have nowadays, men who still want to fondle with mummy's breast!
Daughter in-laws self we get our own for our body. Some of us don't want to see anybody around our husbands. In fact if it’s possible, we will see mother in-law as a strange woman. We already have this paranoia for mother in-laws, so any little thing mama does, we fence up. We automatically term her gestures as domineering. #eyesrolling some of us ladies self, if you see the way we watch our children like hawk, you begin to wonder how such ladies will behave with their daughter in-laws. (Abeg I didn't say u shouldn't protect your children o).
My bottom line is, mother in-law, treat your daughter in-law the way you want another mother in-law to treat your daughter. And also daughter in-laws, treat mama the way you want your daughter in-law(s) to treat you.
Mother in-laws has fear of the daughter in-laws snatching away the "fruit of their labour." They see their sons as deposited cheque, waiting to mature at an appointed time. So when the time is ripe or almost ripe, you, Sis Eko,(daughter in-law) wants to "chance" her life savings? Hia! Even her other children see him likewise too. You get to see where, sister in- laws, and brother in-laws will give the history of their family when their brothers' wife faults.
The rich mother in-laws are not necessarily expecting returns from their deposits because she already has; she just can't stand another woman contradicting her teachings. A woman “from somewhere” will just come and feed the man with different opinion?! She is yet to process it. She believes she has done well in that area; at least madam new wife can see it; so when she sees new habits/developments/
Daughters, future mother in-law.
One of the means we daughter in-laws use to pour out our anger will be by talking to our husbands. Most times, Mr. Hubby is calculating on how to handle the situation in order not to offend any. The man is in a tight corner. It only takes some men grace to be able to put a check on the "excesses" of his mother and even his wife. Seriously, a man who can stand on his own before marriage needs no extra moral class from his mummy. But what do we have nowadays, men who still want to fondle with mummy's breast!
Daughter in-laws self we get our own for our body. Some of us don't want to see anybody around our husbands. In fact if it’s possible, we will see mother in-law as a strange woman. We already have this paranoia for mother in-laws, so any little thing mama does, we fence up. We automatically term her gestures as domineering. #eyesrolling some of us ladies self, if you see the way we watch our children like hawk, you begin to wonder how such ladies will behave with their daughter in-laws. (Abeg I didn't say u shouldn't protect your children o).
My bottom line is, mother in-law, treat your daughter in-law the way you want another mother in-law to treat your daughter. And also daughter in-laws, treat mama the way you want your daughter in-law(s) to treat you.
Edith Abiola
www.facebook.com/EdithAbiola 
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